SOME KIDS TAKE LONGER TO FIND THEIR STRIDE .

ROLCAM

Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson
Dr. James Dobson

SOME KIDS TAKE LONGER TO FIND THEIR STRIDE

QUESTION: My two kids are as different as night and day. You'd never even know they were born to the same parents. One of them is having trouble in school and the other is something of a superstar. I'm very worried about this. Do some kids start out doing poorly and then catch fire?

DR. DOBSON: Thank goodness they often do. Let me give you an encouraging illustration. Several years ago I attended a wedding ceremony in a beautiful garden setting, and I came away with some thoughts about parents who are raising a child like your son.

After the minister had instructed the groom to kiss the bride, approximately 150 colorful, helium-filled balloons were released into the blue California sky. Within a few seconds the balloons were scattered all across the heavens, some of them rising hundreds of feet overhead and others cruising toward the horizon. A few balloons struggled to clear the upper branches of the trees, while the show-offs became mere pinpoints of color on their journey to the sky.

How interesting, I thought, and how symbolic of children. Let's face it: Some boys and girls seem to be born with more helium than others. They catch all the right breezes and they soar effortlessly to great heights, while others wobble dangerously close to the trees. Their frantic folks run along underneath, huffing and puffing to keep them airborne. It is an exhausting experience.

In short, I have words of encouragement to you and all the parents of low-flying kids. Sometimes the child who has the greatest trouble getting off the ground eventually soars to the highest heights. That's why I urge you as parents not to look too quickly for the person your child will become.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION: I hear so much about children who have ADHD. Can you describe this problem for me and tell me how I might recognize it in my son?

DR. DOBSON: The term ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, which is an inherited neurological syndrome that affects approximately 3 to 5 percent of children in the United States. It refers to individuals who are easily distracted, have a low tolerance for boredom or frustration, and tend to be impulsive and flighty. Some of them are also hyperactive.

Children with ADHD have a pattern of behavior that sets them up for failure in school and conflict with their parents. They have difficulty finishing tasks, remembering details, focusing on a book or assignment or even remaining seated for more than a few minutes. Some appear to be driven from within as they race wildly from one thing to another. They are often very bright and creative, yet they're seen as lazy, disruptive and terribly disorganized.

ADHD children often suffer from low self-esteem because they have been berated as defiant "goof-offs" who refuse to follow the rules. They sometimes have few friends because they can drive everyone crazy -- even those their own age.

As for how you can recognize such a child in your home, it is unwise for a parent to attempt to diagnose ADHD themselves. There are many other problems, both psychological and physical, that can cause the similar symptoms. Disorders of the thyroid, for example, can make a child hyperactive or sluggish; depression and anxiety can cause the distractibility associated with ADHD. Therefore, you must have assistance from a physician, a child developmentalist or a psychologist who can confirm the diagnosis.

If you see the symptoms I've described in your child, I urge you to have him or her seen professionally. Again, you should not try to diagnose your child! The sooner you can get that youngster in to see a person who specializes in this disorder, the better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family.org. Questions and answers are excerpted from "The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide" and "Bringing Up Boys," both published by Tyndale House.
_________________
Roland Camilleri

Moderator

Sydney , Australia.