WOMEN'S NEWS ***** # 71013.

ROLCAM · Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:37 am Post subject: WOMEN'S NEWS ***** # 71013.

Annie's Mailbox

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My widowed mother-in-law has five grown children. One, "Pat," is 42 and still single, and has lived the life of Riley because of great looks and the ability to cultivate friends with money who almost wholly support her.

Mom spends practically every waking moment with Pat. She calls her several times a day when they aren't physically together, travels extensively with her and entertains Pat's friends to the exclusion of her other children. Whenever we do have the opportunity to be around my mother-in-law, she talks and brags incessantly about Pat. On her last birthday, we gave Mom a gift certificate to her favorite store. She immediately went to a drawer and pulled out a certificate for the same store but for a larger amount and announced, "Here's the one Pat gave me, and it's for more!"

Honestly, we love Pat, but my wife and I would like to share time with Mom. Before joining us, Mom always has to check to see what Pat has going on. People have told me they were not even aware that my mother-in-law had any other children because she rarely speaks about them.

How can I help my wife accept the treatment she gets from this woman? There's no point in asking Pat for help because it's in her best interests for Mom to be alienated from her other children. Then she will get the entire inheritance. The house is already in Pat's name. Any ideas? -- Husband of NOT Mother's Favorite

Dear Husband: Mom is overly close to Pat because her daughter has become her spousal equivalent -- she is always available to do things as a couple. Mom's other children, married with families of their own, cannot compete, nor should they beat themselves up trying. The best thing you can do for your wife is help her lower her expectations about her relationship with her mother and be glad that Pat is willing to be a companion to her. Mom no doubt loves all her children, but she is dependent on Pat and that is the difference.

Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for 19 years. When the phone rings at our house and I answer it, he always asks me who it was and what they wanted. Most phone calls are from my friends or family. Even if my cell phone rings, he asks me who called. Like an obedient wife, I always answer him because I have nothing to hide, but it annoys me. I have never given him any reason to mistrust me. I do not inquire about his phone calls.

Am I being unreasonable? If not, what can I say, tactfully, so he understands that my calls are none of his business? -- Nosy's Wife

Dear Wife: It's perfectly natural for your husband to want to know who called, although we understand why the frequent questioning irritates you. But we think it's a small concession on your part to make him feel secure by keeping him informed. Let it go.

Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from "Perplexed Single Mom," who asked how to "toughen up" her sensitive 12-year-old son. Your advice not to push him into learning aggressive behavior was right on.

She also was looking for a male role model for him. The Boy Scouts of America is the perfect organization for her son to check out. The Scouting program has three specific objectives, commonly referred to as the "Aims of Scouting." They are character development, citizenship training and personal fitness. Scouting is a boy-led organization. As the boys mature and develop more skills, they take on increasing leadership responsibilities. Troops are supervised by male leaders who act as role models and advisers, ensuring overall safety.

For more information about the Boy Scouts of America and how to find a local troop, go to www.scouting.org. -- Blaine Peet, Assistant Scoutmaster, Troop 10

Dear Blaine Peet: We have no excuse for not recommending this wonderful organization, and our readers (including Kathy's sister) were quick to remind us.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Violence against women rampant in Congo

BUKAVU, Democratic Republic of Congo (UPI) -- Women in Eastern Congo are being systematically raped amid the most recent outbreak of violence in the region, U.N. officials say.

About 27,000 sexual assaults were reported in South Kivu province last year, The New York Times reported Sunday, and the actual number could be much higher.

Despite $500 million elections last year, many parts of the country remain under the control of roving armed gangs that terrorize villages, the newspaper said.

The gangs kidnap women, use them as sex slaves and then turn a profit by demanding ransom.

Gang violence against women also seems to be having an effect on society as a whole, a social researcher told the Times. In some regions, the number of cases of men abusing or killing their wives has also increased.

U.N. peacekeepers have recently stepped up their efforts to keep villagers safe in violent regions, the newspaper said, but their efforts are small compared to the size of the problem.

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Health and Beauty Tip -- Holiday Makeup

The holidays are special, so forget about matte eyeshadow when you go out! Younger women can experiment with shadows with frost, and mature women will look great going for shadows with a satiny finish. Avoid glitter, though ... that's a little too much!

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Quote of the Day

Katherine Anne Porter (1894 - 1980)

"I don't believe in intuition. When you get sudden flashes of perception, it is just the brain working faster than usual. But you've been getting ready to know it for a long time, and when it comes, you feel you've known it always."

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_________________
Roland Camilleri

Moderator

Sydney , Australia.

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